Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Awakening Up

I woke up this morning without me.

You know you're getting somewhere when you're no longer there.


I woke up and for a moment I was spacious consciousness. It was the first time I've ever noticed it or been aware of it, though I can't say that it hasn't happened before. Maybe it did, and I just didn't know what it was.

...because it was only a few days ago that I learned from Eckhart Tolle that when you wake up in the morning there is a moment or fraction of a moment in which you are your true self - in other words, there is no ego and no "stories of me." You are the spacious consciousness that is who you really are.

Then Tolle says when you notice that you are who you truly are, go into your inner being and feel the aliveness inside your body. Be alert and still and aware, and maintain that for a few minutes before you get up.

So naturally, I sat straight up in bed: "Wow! That was me being conscious! Hey! It happened! Wasn't that cool!?"

And so began the next story of me. "The Story of Katie Waking up With Spacious Consciousness" ... hey, look what I accomplished (ego, ego, ego ...)


And that is good too. Baby steps. I'll practice being aware of my inner body as much as I can throughout this day, and I look forward to being without me when I wake up tomorrow.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

What are you doing?

I have found the way to happiness. It's so damn elusive. So damn hard to get a fix on. But I've found another snow-covered sign post on the Path of the Way to Happiness...
(also known as POWh! Haha! Sorry, you'd have to come from the world of government contracting to appreciate some of my madness.)

"If there is no joy, ease or lightness in what you are doing, it does not necessarily mean that you need to change what you are doing. It may be sufficient to change the how. "How" is always more important than "what." See if you can give much more attention to the doing than to the result that you want to achieve through it." -Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

So I tried this, and within seconds - Wow !! I felt so much lighter, more peaceful ... better!

He then says, "As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease."

As soon as you honor what you are doing in the present moment - and not the outcome, and not fretting over the past, or worrying about the future - as soon as you honor what you are doing in the moment, all else slips away, quality comes into that space of pesence, quality comes into what you are doing, and then life really begins to flow...
And that's what I was witnessing in myself in that moment.

What I had been "doing" was trying to feel better through listing positive things around me. This is something I have done very successfully over the last month (Abraham-Hicks exercise). And yet over the past few days I hit a "reality" slump - a backsliding of the positive momentum forward. I couldn't seem to get the feeling-good stuff going again.

So this morning as soon as I read this, I set the open book down on the table in front of me and gave more attention to noticing positive things around me, noticing any positive feelings within me. Noticing what I liked in the world. Noticing how much I loved my life. This isn't some airy-fairy bullshit, I mean I was REALLY focusing my attention and not worrying or thinking about anything else! And it worked.

This focusing of attention automatically stopped me from worrying about whether I was feeling good or not. And in that immediate moment that I focused my attention on what I was doing, I was brought back to being peaceful and happy.
Ahhh. God, I love life!