Finding Peace in Life

...Nine months later (...hm, the gestation period of a human being!)

...I've been practicing letting life live through me. And no, I'm not pregnant!

Letting "life live through me" means trusting that if I do what I love and enjoy, and if I stay present and don't subscribe to fear, life will unfold in unpredictable and beautiful ways. Life will no longer be serious and hard, and the sense of wanting something else would subside, eventually going away. Leaving peace, contentment, and a subtle sense of happiness.

Over the past 9 months, I haven't been entirely sure "letting life live through me" would pay my bills and mortgage or bring peace to my life. Yet I have been "letting life live through me" now for longer than 9 months, and I'm paying the bills, though my busy mind often won't let me live in peace. But mind is another story, and I'll talk about it another time. For now, suffice to say that I have not been able to get a job, yet money does come - usually in unexpected ways. So, I am officially dedicating my life to finding out if by "letting life live through me" whether it will work or not. I'll post my experiences and the outcome here.

Will the things I end up "doing" while I'm "Being" (letting life live through me) work for someone else - make someone else happy? Probably not. Because you have different likes and dislikes than me. But if you follow the formula: Do what you enjoy doing, be present, don't "do" out of fear (i.e., if you take a job that will make you miserable, that is doing out of fear.) ... well, then you have the recipe for a peaceful life.

The human condition is that we as individuals in this world have to MAKE things happen. And it does work, at a price. It brings with it exhaustion, illness, disease, depression, fear, and a deep unhappiness. A not-enoughness.

My experiment is to stop "making things happen," and to begin to Allow Life To Live Through Me. This is not a religion or a philosophy. It is simply Being in this world.

The biggest myth around Being is that if you stop making things happen, you aren't contributing. That if you are simply Being, you'll be sitting in a cave or on a couch, drooling (as Byron Katie says), letting life pass you by and not contributing to the world at all. NO! In fact, it is quite the opposite. Becuse when you are in the moment, you are compelled to take action in the things that you enjoy. You are compelled to go "do" things, but you aren't seeking an identity in them, you're having fun and enjoying them, and you come to realize over time that it's not you doing them, it's life moving through you. It's living at a level and in a way that most humans don't know how to live. All animals and plants do, but not 99% of humans.

Humans are the only living beings on this planet that cannot simply Be. We have to DO (make things happen) all the time, and we believe if we don't DO, we are failures, we aren't "towing the load" or carrying our burden. What a crock. And how sad that 90+ % of our society subscribes to this belief. And so when we experiment with Being, the rest of the world tends to watch us with curiosity, like they're staring at a morbid car crash as they drive by. It's so compelling to look, because won't I see mayhem? Maybe some blood?

And they wonder, Will it work? It's rather like a fairy tale. So they watch and wonder. And instead of blood, life looks very quiet and tranquil. Because when you are Being and taking action from that place of Being Present, you discover you don't need the social standing or money or impressive car and house. And yet life is giving you all you need, and even things you no longer think you need. You become the very thing that will make you a success in their eyes. And by the time you become their version of a success, none of the material things (house, car, Prada purse) and social standing will matter. Because you ... because I ... will have found peace in life.

Awakening Up

I woke up this morning without me.

You know you're getting somewhere when you're no longer there.

:)

I woke up and for a moment I was spacious consciousness. It was the first time I've ever noticed it or been aware of it, though I can't say that it hasn't happened before. Maybe it did, and I just didn't know what it was.

...because it was only a few days ago that I learned from Eckhart Tolle that when you wake up in the morning there is a moment or fraction of a moment in which you are your true self - in other words, there is no ego and no "stories of me." You are the spacious consciousness that is who you really are.

Then Tolle says when you notice that you are who you truly are, go into your inner being and feel the aliveness inside your body. Be alert and still and aware, and maintain that for a few minutes before you get up.

So naturally, I sat straight up in bed: "Wow! That was me being conscious! Hey! It happened! Wasn't that cool!?"

And so began the next story of me. "The Story of Katie Waking up With Spacious Consciousness" ... hey, look what I accomplished (ego, ego, ego ...)

:)

And that is good too. Baby steps. I'll practice being aware of my inner body as much as I can throughout this day, and I look forward to being without me when I wake up tomorrow.

Winter Solstice

Yay! December 21 is here, and the days will begin to get longer. This is a celebration that especially northern climates can truly appreciate, and for me, it is WONDERFUL! More light, new beginnings, and gratitude toward the time of surrender, which brought us clarity in what we want for the time of growth and warmth. Winter Solstice, Yule, is finally here.

While January 1 is a great time of celebration and "ringing in the new year" with those who are on consumer time, I recognize the Winter Solstice as Earth's New Year; a time when the shift to light brings longer days.

From an early-morning meditation, I found action through inspired thought for 2009...

1. Breathe Deep Every Day. Do several deep and slow breaths in a row, until you feel slightly light headed. Do this when the thought of deep breathing comes to you; even if you only have time for one or two deep breaths, breathe in deeply and consciously, exhale consciously.



2. Meditate. Heard it a thousand times, but this is key to our awakening. You will be provided with time every day to meditate 10 to 30 minutes – it is up to you to recognize that the time is there and that your intention for that time is for meditation. To deep breathe with meditation is even more beneficial.

Meditation is key because time is speeding up, and as it does, events and situations stick and pile up faster, forming a clotted mound as the day or week goes by, giving us the sensation that we are overwhelmed and confused… not to mention the fact that our big issues come slamming into that mound, sticking even bigger masses to the clot, creating more confusion, fogginess and frustration. When we meditate, the speeding up of time not only stops, but time stops period. Our mind is no longer worrying about the future or torturing ourselves about the past. We are simply in the Moment. The effects of speeded-up time are neutralized and defused, allowing chunks of the clot (issues) to release into the flow of universal energy. Being in the Now is the only way to stop time - Now is the only time that is real or matters. The confusion will be left behind, you will recognize the beauty of this moment in your journey, and recognize that “what is” is perfect in this moment.

3. Become Aware of Old Patterns. Simply becoming conscious of your patterns will begin the process of undoing and breaking the pattern. But you must make the concerted effort of identifying what patterns you have (when you have strong negative emotions about situations or people, there is a pattern present). If you become aware of a pattern, try using the Byron Katie 4-question technique. For more information, please visit her website http://www.thework.com/index.asp , and read her books "Loving What Is" and "A Thousand Names Joy". If you're not a reader or would like to watch her technique in action, check out the videos on her website

4. Focus on Your Issues, Stay Out of Other People’s Issues. This goes hand-in-hand with #3 and can be applied to personal, national, and global situations. You cannot force change on other people or situations and expect it to work out just as you wish. If you want a person to change, first question your own desire to see them change (Byron Katie questions) and discover what is true for you. Often when you think someone or something should change, you are getting into that someone else's business. Ask the 4 questions that Byron Katie poses, and see what your turnaround is.

Resisting, struggling, or fighting against another person or situation will leave you with overwhelming feelings of negativity, and any "progress" you may find through pushing your agenda is often temporary, empty, or results in worsening the situation.

Ultimately with other people, their issues and behaviors are not yours to fix. You cannot make another person behave the way you want them to. You can only point out to them how you feel when they behave that way - that is your truth. Then they can decided what that means to them - which is their truth.

"John/Jane, When you do XX, I feel XX." Let them decide what their truth is; let go of expecting them to see your point or to change. No one "should" or "shouldn’t" do anything; for there is no "proper behavior" barometer out there. There is only the barometer of truth within each person, and that truth is for that individual only. If someone else cannot accept you for you, and you are having difficulty accepting their behavior, continuing in that vein is only harmful to both parties.

This empowering action is the Universe lining you up with, and disconnecting you from, those who no longer are in alignment with you. This is the Universe working through you, and it shows you who you are, so that you know your truth.

Authentic Power: the Path of the Masters

"To live without a stressful story, to be a lover of what is, even in pain - that's heaven. To be in pain and believe that you shouldn't be in pain - that's hell."
- Byron Katie, A Thousand Names for Joy


How can you find peace when you are surrounded by unpredictable and antagonistic situations, people, and events?

We tend to look outside of ourselves to figure out how to make everything and everyone harmonize with us. But if you are trying to get to San Diego from Phoenix, you do not drive to Denver. And by looking outside of yourself to make you feel better, you are driving the wrong direction. The only place you can ever look to feel peaceful, happy, and fulfilled is inside of yourself.

Take a Journey...

My Journey started when I began to examine what life was, what my existence was about. I began to see that anger wasn't a result of what people had done to me in the past; it was a result of my choosing to dwell on that past. I was my source of my anger. And every time I continued to bring up the past, my anger was justified and I perpetuated it. I kept it alive by staying the victim.

Powering Through...

I discovered that "Power" isn't about making others apologize or be nice to me, or about changing the past or wielding influence over another. True Power is an individual choice and a perspective: You can choose to be happy in this moment, or to continue being unhappy about the past. Staying in the moment is true Power. Because to choose being in the moment is to choose how you feel. The story goes that when China invaded Tibet, a western journalist asked the Dalai Lama how he could be so peaceful in the face of such violence. The Dalai Lama asked the journalist, "Should they also take my mind?"

This is Power...

So try this Eckhart Tolle exercise to be fully in the moment: Just for this moment, feel your awareness as you sit in your chair. Observe yourself. Feel your hands from the inside - not by using your mind to think about them, just notice what your hands feel like from the inside. Are they large or small? Tingling or heavy? Can you feel your feet from the inside? Notice how they feel for a moment. That feeling in your feet and hands is your consciousness, who you really are. Notice your breath as it fills up your lungs, then notice the air as it exits your body. This intense noticing of your body and its "beingness" is Awareness, your Being, you in the Now.

Do you see how there is only your hands and your feet when you are doing this? Do you see how in the moment of noticing your hands and feet, you let go of the past and those feelings associated with past events? Try also feeling your head, your ears, your legs, your whole body. The more you practice this, the longer you can do it, the clearer you become. Other ways to be in the now include creative endeavors, such as drawing, carpentry, dancing, martial arts, and writing. Try any of these and notice how you delve completely into your creation. You let go of the need to control, and yet you are still very in control. The difference is that you are aware.

This moment - the Now - is all there ever is. Our "mental mind" tells us differently, that we have to focus on our past and worry about the future. But past and future do not exist. Our mental mind tells us "of course they exist! Look how screwed we were last time! We must be prepared so we are not screwed the next time!" and then tries to get us to worry about the future again so that we don't get screwed again, so that we can watch "them" even more carefully, so that we can know when we're about to be duped or hurt, so that we can have a witty or intelligent retort ready, so that we can prevent horrible things or great embarrassments, so that we can figure it all out, so that we can make our next move, etc. etc. etc.

Let that go. Sit in your chair, feel your body in that chair, your feet on the ground. You are grounded like a tree, your energy radiates up to connect with the sky. You are here in the Now. This is your Power. This is a spiritual practice. When you practice it, you are exercising your spiritual muscle. Soon, as your muscle builds, it becomes easier, and you begin to feel good about life, yourself, your relationships, your path, your choices. You let go of the need to be in control, and suddenly you see that you are in control. Because when you are being still, and in the Now, you can hear the wisdom of your intuition.

Feel Good...

The only thing we are required to do to lead a fulfilled, happy, prosperous life, is to feel good and be in the moment.

Our bimonthly group is practicing noticing when we feel fear, frustration, annoyance, etc. This practice is primarily to dissipate negative feelings by bringing our attention to the emotion. When we observe our negative feelings, our awareness processes it quickly, and it dissipates almost as soon as you turn on the "oberservation mode." Below is the exercise our group is practicing for the next two weeks. After a few weeks, I'll blog about the group's general observations.

To learn more about being in the Moment, check out Eckhart Tolle's books or CDs titled "A New Earth" or "The Power of Now". To learn more about why feeling good will benefit you overall, read or listen to the Abraham-Hicks book or CD "The Law of Attraction". These books are just a few that I have read recently, but there are many other wonderful spiritual teachers with books, CDs, and DVDs out there, so find the ones that jump out at you, and try them!

Eckhart Tolle, Abraham, Byron Katie, and other spiritual leaders say that nothing is more important than that you feel good. This exercise is about noticing how often and why negative feelings arise, and how when we are in the moment and being aware, these bad feelings tend to process and dissipate. For the next several days, your homework is to notice whenever you feel bad - sad, frustrated, annoyed, defensive, angry. Notice the negative feelings, then ask yourself:

* Do I want someone else or something else to change to make me feel better?
* Am I judging me or someone else?
* Am I defending my position for feeling bad?

Then take the perspective of the Observer who is watching your negative feelings. Just notice them from an aware, conscious place. When you do this, what happens to your feelings?

Try not to beat yourself up or judge yourself as you observe, just notice what your feelings are, and watch them dissipate. This is a spiritual practice, so try it for the next several days until our meeting, and see if it doesn't make you more aware of old patterns.