up at 5:30 a.m. out of a dead sleep this morning and thought, "I will never buy a Samsung cell phone again!" and then I thought, "It's my money, I will MAKE my daughter return that crappy new phone that doesn't hold a charge!" and I absolutely believed I was right. Who wouldn't? I spent $200 on a phone that doesn't work unless it's near an electrical outlet. Yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense in our lifestyle. We live in Alaska, and if we're not out enjoying the wilderness, my daughter and I are still often miles apart. The cell phones are supposed to be reliable and lend a certain amount of comfort that we can communicate. 
My daughter and I even exchanged the battery through AT&T's warranty program, but the new battery didn't last any longer than the first. And my head-strong teenage daughter, whom I love and is the light of my life, refuses to return it.
Regardless, there I was in a comfortable bed at 5:30 on the first morning of the New Year, and a morning I could have slept in, and the only thing I could think about was the crappy phone and how I could send it back, and I was feeling pretty negative.
Regardless, there I was in a comfortable bed at 5:30 on the first morning of the New Year, and a morning I could have slept in, and the only thing I could think about was the crappy phone and how I could send it back, and I was feeling pretty negative.
Take it back!
I knew that this negativity was not what I wanted, but I also felt my thoughts surrounding this phone were right. Still, my goal is to become peaceful all 
the way around. The struggle was really not about AT&T, crappy Samsung products -- or my daughter. The struggle was born from my believing negative thoughts. Thoughts come and go - good thoughts, negative thoughts, neutral thoughts. It is up to us to become the observer of our thoughts, and choose the ones we want to feel.
the way around. The struggle was really not about AT&T, crappy Samsung products -- or my daughter. The struggle was born from my believing negative thoughts. Thoughts come and go - good thoughts, negative thoughts, neutral thoughts. It is up to us to become the observer of our thoughts, and choose the ones we want to feel. So as I observed the negative feelings overwhelming me in my nice warm bed, I realized that was my wakeup call to do Byron Katie's questions ... to do The Work. At 5:30 a.m.
I've done enough of The Work to know which thought I would need to accept to have peaceful feelings. I jumped ahead of myself before I began the questions, and felt uncomfortable that this "other" thought, this "positive" thought, seemed a little Pollyanna-ish. In that moment, it didn't feel right to me at all. After all, as of that moment, I had disliked Samsung products for approximately 6 months, 9 days, and 17 hours. I didn't like them because it didn't seem right to pay hundreds of dollars for a product that is not of satisfactory quality. I won't go there now, but just for the record... grrrrr.
So, the statement is: I will never buy another Samsung.
So, the statement is: I will never buy another Samsung.
Is it true? Yes, they suck.
Is it absolutely true that I will never buy another Samsung?
Is it absolutely true that I will never buy another Samsung?
Well, no, maybe not. I can't really say anything is absolutely true. Plus, I already did buy another Samsung ... 6 months, 9 days and 17 hours ago, after I said I wouldn't. So no, it may not be true that I will never buy another Samsung; I can't know that for sure.
So then I asked, Who would I be without this thought? I'd be peaceful, ca
lm, happy. I'd be this chick on the right, but without the breast implants, the short-shorts, or the belly-button-diving T. I'd even get my power back, and I'd feel positive, peaceful energy because of it. (Why is it that you can find a large variety of stock images of angry people with cell phones, but no images of happy people with cell phones - unless they have large breasts?)
So then I asked, Who would I be without this thought? I'd be peaceful, ca
lm, happy. I'd be this chick on the right, but without the breast implants, the short-shorts, or the belly-button-diving T. I'd even get my power back, and I'd feel positive, peaceful energy because of it. (Why is it that you can find a large variety of stock images of angry people with cell phones, but no images of happy people with cell phones - unless they have large breasts?)What 
would the turnaround be? "I am willing to buy another Samsung." That was a hard one to sit with. Our world has always told us, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me..." But no! Even Byron Katie says in her book Loving What Is that when she first started questioning her negative thoughts, she found her answers were going against everything that her friends, family and the rest of the world found perfectly acceptable and true - without inquiry. And while they struggled with their thoughts, she found peace in her truth after inquiry.
So found that I am willing to buy another Samsung under certain circumstances. And I began to work on the harder thought: "My daughter should return that crappy new $200 phone that doesn't hold a charge." She's been resisting it because it's what I want. We have 30 days to return the product.
would the turnaround be? "I am willing to buy another Samsung." That was a hard one to sit with. Our world has always told us, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me..." But no! Even Byron Katie says in her book Loving What Is that when she first started questioning her negative thoughts, she found her answers were going against everything that her friends, family and the rest of the world found perfectly acceptable and true - without inquiry. And while they struggled with their thoughts, she found peace in her truth after inquiry.So found that I am willing to buy another Samsung under certain circumstances. And I began to work on the harder thought: "My daughter should return that crappy new $200 phone that doesn't hold a charge." She's been resisting it because it's what I want. We have 30 days to return the product.
So, I thought, is it absolutely true that my daughter should return the phone?
No, she doesn't have to return it, and if she doesn't return it, we'll all still be alive and okay.
How do I feel when I believe my daughter, light of my life, should return the crappy new phone?
No, she doesn't have to return it, and if she doesn't return it, we'll all still be alive and okay.
How do I feel when I believe my daughter, light of my life, should return the crappy new phone?
Very negative, righteously indignant - I felt it in my solar plexus, so my sense of offense was very high because the solar plexus is the "I am." Interestingly, my righteousness is tied to the cost of the phone - money. And money is always about self-worth and self-value. Buuut, that's another blog...Who would I be without the thought that my daughter should return the phone? I'd be so peaceful, and calm. And for the turnaround: My daughter should not return the phone. I saw myself look at her calmly and saying, "OK, honey. If this is the phone you want, it's yours." AND I would mean it without sarcasm or this thought: "...FINE! and you're stuck with it forever!"
When you do The Work, you do not say it is true for you unless it really is. So I have to really mean it when I tell my daughter that she can keep the phone.Byron Katie never insists that a person find their own thought untrue if they still believe it is true. She may guide them into further inquiry, but if it is still "this is true for me," then she accepts that without judgment, and moves on. And she's right, because if it's not what is true for that person, they are not ready to find a new thought that would let the negativity go. When they are ready, they will know.
What is your thought that brings you grief, anger or frustration? Write it out, and ask, Is it true? Is it absolutely true? How do you react when you think that thought? See yourself in your predicament, then ask yourself who would I be if I didn't believe that thought? Then the last step, turn the thought around.
